How do I draw a map to here?

The last time I wrote something over 750 words was August of 2012.

That was one dead father (Morgan’s), grandfather (also Morgan’s), birthfather (mine) ago.

That was three cases of cancer (Morgan’s mom, and uncle, and possible grandmother) ago.

A dead cat and a dead doberman ago.

Another year of Morgan in horrific neurological pain and no answers, certainly no sign of bedside manner. It’s more like a $500 handjob and maybe a spinal tap.

An old friend of mine, who I lost touch with because she was so deep her in disease and I could not afford to get sucked in when my own processes were too unstable… she killed herself.

These specific incidences, and the ripples they leave behind have created a mindscape I cannot understand.

Christmas without Morgan’s dad is looming and I don’t want anything to do with it.

I dropped out of sight in my online life; rebuilt a quiet, super-secretive one and left a lot of people who care about me hanging.

This is a post of little substance other than to say I’m not dead yet.


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